Nervous

July 29/16

I don’t feel good lately, I’m not eating very much… my sleep quality is low. I feel nervous and anxious and scared to tell Liam how I’ve felt lately. Nervous about what he is going to say about it.

I’m also worried to go to the doctor because bipolar is hard to talk about, explain and decide if there is another drug suited to help fix my problems. More mood stabilizers I’m sure. I’m so tired and i wish I was doing more so that I would feel less low. I’m second guessing myself, and wonder if I will see a doctor who can help me, or send me to someone who will.

And I need some answers from Liam, I’ve given him access to how I really and honestly feel. That scares me, knowing that he knows the things I say to just myself, things basically no one knows about me. How crazy my bipolar actually can be. He has now seen me raw and I have no idea what possesses him to stick around, be here for me, and not mind that my bipolar is a huge part of my life. I can hardly do life right now….

xx Hailey

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