So I bought train tickets to Brighton for Saturday and I’ll be flying solo on this one. I am going to make plans and do things because ultimately Liam doesn’t care what I do and has no desire to do things with me usually. With him it’s more of an “I don’t mind”. But who cares anyways? I’m planning on going Kayaking! This is the kind of positive mind-set I need right now. This week is mine, I should use it appropriately. You have to spend some money to have fun and I need some fun after last weekends awful shortcomings. Last weekend a breakdown, this weekend an adventure.
This is becoming very personal, I feel as though I will never be enough, not ever. I hate when my feelings flicker on me, like one minute I feel one thing and the next I feel something completely different. I never know what’s really in my mind and what’s not. I wish I could just find my happy place rather than dwell on stupid stuff that has no importance to my life. If only I could change my thoughts and feelings to match one another… not in real-time unfortunately…