Temporary fix

May 24/16

I think Monday will be the end of me and Liam. I can just feel it in my gut that is what is going to happen. I just want to keep having fun with him even though our relationship will always be sort of in limbo because we’re not together, but we aren’t exactly friends because we sleep together.

Whatever happens Monday I will not try to protest, I’ll do my best to just accept it. There will be no reason to fight it because it was always inevitable and because I can’t fight for something that doesn’t truly exist. Our relationship is not one, it’s not public knowledge and all it was ever meant to be was temporary. It has been a temporary fix for me… to fix my loneliness, and fix my fear of men always being awful to me. And to prove to me that I can and have moved on from Caleb after all this time.

But I still think I’m going to be single and lonely for a very long time. It took two and a half years to find Liam… which doesn’t give me any confidence. And he doesn’t even want me… so where does that leave me? With next to no hope… that’s where.

xx Hailey

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