Why until now have so many of the men I have dated, been friends with, had some kind of relationship with let me down and turn out to be so terrible to me?
I think it all started with Spencer, I always thought he was cheating on me while we dated and who knows, maybe he was… Then Shane who was so awful to his girlfriend and wanted to sleep with me. Andy who tried to kiss me when I literally had just broken up with Caleb for the 50th time… Caleb himself who fucked with me for so long I couldn’t stand guys for like two years. Austin was the exception to te rule in those two years, but he was only a one night stand because he just wanted me for my body and didn’t care about anything else. Then there was Dominic who thought I should send him naked photos of myself despite having a girlfriend that he had been with for years…
Then Mitchell who treated me like meat… no wonder I don’t trust men anymore, they have treated me like shit until Liam. Men in my life have treated me like an object, or meat, acted like my feelings are irrelevant, played with my heart, and generally haven’t given a fuck about me.
When did I start letting men treat me like garbage? Although I cut them out of my life in short order when they decide its okay to play with me like that. But why the fuck do they feel so entitled to behave in that way? As though women are not valid? They are all so cocky they think it doesn’t matter, and that hurting me or disrespecting me is not an issue. They really just don’t care even though they lie through their teeth and say they do care… they even lie to themselves.
In my life if you even remotely give a damn about me you would think about how your actions will affect me. Clearly I am never a priority when they sleep with someone else, and then decide it’s okay to sleep with me after without telling me they were with someone else. Or try to kiss me when I’m upset, or touching my ass inappropriately… I think I believe so much more than that, a thought about my feelings and one that doesn’t end with “Oh fuck it, she isn’t my problem”.
Is it so hard to find guys that will treat me well? Where does this bullshit end? Guys that are my friends, boyfriends, friend with benefits, or whatever else should be considerate and think about my best interests. They should feel I’m important enough for a thought process because I didn’t do anything to deserve that kind of treatment. All I ever did was like them, love them, thought we were friends and I am always wrong it would seem…