Things are always in flux in my life… I think maybe I’m starting to accept it. It makes me laugh looking back through my old journal entries, I still have those same feelings, fears, loves, desires and dislikes that I’ve had before I guess.
I’m trying to keep myself grounded with my friends and trying to leave my romantic feelings on the back burner. I’m sure when May comes around I will feel the loss… but it’s just like candy init? You can’t really just have a little, you need to satisfy that craving entirely. And that’s what Liam is to me, a bad habit I can’t kick, but it feels so good… we have a relationship built on lust, desire, craving and want.
Maybe I should be less concerned that he has put a time limit on this, it’s just a guarantee that this will end no matter what happens… like a train wreck you can’t prevent from happening. Maybe it’s better if it’s unpredictable… even if it means I end up kinda lonely again. On to the next thing I suppose, which is Paris bound in May for my birthday! French pastry and food to die for, Yes please! Me and Riley are going to have a really good time!